Quotes

[Ned snaps after his newly built house collapses and his glasses break.]
Ned: AW, HELL DIDILLY-DING-DONG-CRAP! CAN'T YOU MORONS DO ANYTHING RIGHT?![Everyone gasps]
Marge: Ned, we meant well, and everyone here tried their best.
Ned: Well, my family and I can't live on good intentions, Marge! Oh, your family's out of control but we can't blame you because you have GOOD INTENTIONS!
Bart: Hey, back off, Man!
Ned: OH! OK dude! I wouldn't want you to have a cow, MAN! Hey, here's a catchphrase you'd better learn for your adult years: Hey buddy, GOT A QUARTER?![Everyone gasps]
Bart: I am shocked and appalled.
Lisa: Mr. Flanders, with all due respect, Bart didn't do anything!
Ned: Oh! Do I hear the sound of butting in? It must be little Lisa Simpson: Springfield's answer to a question that NO ONE ASKED![Cheif Wiggum laughs]
Ned: What do we have here? The long, flabby arm of the law. The last case you got to the bottom of, was a case of Mallomars!
Krusty: Mallomars! That's going in the act.
Ned: Oh, yeah, the clown. The only one of you buffoons who doesn't make me laugh! (Sees Lenny) And as for you! I don't know you but I'm sure you're a jerk!
Lenny: Hey! I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?
Ned: (to Moe) You ugly, hate-filled man!
Moe: Hey, Hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I -- Uh, what was the third thing you said?
Ned: (gently but angrily) Homer...you are the worst human being I have ever met...
Homer: Hey, I got off pretty easy...